Asking for Money Instead of Gifts: Practical or Tacky?

There is a lot of debate of late about the tastefulness of giving money as a wedding gift versus buying something off of a registry. This debate has led many couples to add requests for money to their invitations or wedding websites. However, some guests find the requests tasteless. So, if you are one of those couples who really does not need items like pots, pans, or dishes, what are you to do?

First, take any requests for money off your invitations and website. No matter what modern thinking may seem to dictate, it is still in bad taste for brides and grooms to pressure friends and family for gifts. The only exception is if you are asking for donations to a charity in lieu of gifts, like if you are planning a second wedding. Then you can add that gifts are not required, but if the guest feels obliged he or she can offer a donation to your favorite charity.

After you remove your requests for money, you can let your wedding party and close family know that you prefer monetary gifts rather than items on a registry. Then, when guests ask, the wedding party can tell them that you are registered at your favorite store, but you are really saving up for your honeymoon or new home. This is a tasteful way to tell your guests you would prefer money.

Also, you should still register, even if you don’t need a lot of things. Find smaller items that your guests can purchase to offer as gifts. There are some guests that still feel they must bring a gift to the wedding. Other guests may prefer to give money, but they like to add a physical gift, too. You don’t have to register for a lot, or even for traditional gift giving items, but you should still add a gift registry to your wedding planning preparation.

If you still want to register for your honeymoon items or prefer cash, you can register through some companies that have items on the registry like “a nice dinner,” or “ a great night out on the town.” The companies, some of which are banks, put the money aside and give you the cash that you can use toward the things you want or need. These registries are nice alternatives that give the guest the illusion that he or she is not necessarily giving you a monetary gift.